It's really hard for me to give up what I think is right or edifying when in God's eyes it may be the absolute wrong thing for me.
For several years of my life, I proclaimed I was a Christian even though my actions behind closed doors said otherwise. I hate that I wasted so many precious young years on things that only leeched my joy and my contentment.
But last night the Lord revealed to me an age-old truth: my sins, past, present, and future, are obliterated, taken by Jesus to give me the chance of eternal life. Why wallow in darkness of pity and sorrow when I should be rejoicing in the Light of my King?
Yes, there are times to be sad, and yes, God allows us to remember our sins so that we remember how to not be and how unsatisfied we were before He came into our hearts. Sometimes I wish that God could just erase my memory of the horrible moments of the past, but then why would I long for heaven and eternity with my Savior so much more?
I will not waste my shadow of a life in the dark. I may have been born into sin as we all were, but I will live in the Light of the Lord, from now until my last breath on this earth.
It's funny how whenever I have these moments of victory that Satan will always come in and try to shatter my triumph in Christ. Everyday is a battle that we must be prepared to fight, but the fighting is so much easier when we know that we have the King of kings on our side and He is mighty to save. The glory in battle is ours, not because we fought it, but because Jesus already won it and He's sharing His victory with us.
האלוהים שלנו איתנו. הרחמים שלו יסבלו לדורות.
Our God is with us. His mercy shall endure forever.