Oh what a wretch I am! I'm not worthy to even wash my Savior's feet, and yet He calls me His own and has given me the right of inheritance.
I'm so grateful for my God's grace. I don't deserve all the blessings He gives me; none of us do for that matter. But He saw fit to individually handpick each of us to give us this amazing gift. It boggles me.
I'm a person who struggled with addiction for several years. Night after night I went and performed my wickedness in secret, thinking to myself, "I'm not that bad. I'm not even really doing anything." I couldn't have been more wrong. I was continually breaking the Lord's heart as I went after another idol, giving my adoration and attention to myself and this evil that had me in its clutches. I wasted so much of my youth in that. I pray that if I should have kids that they don't make the same mistakes I did. Thank God that He opened my eyes to see my wickedness, to see the fact that I was holding so tightly onto that stick of dynamite that was about to blow up. Thank the Lord that He showed me that I had to completely let go of what was keeping me from growing further. I would be wallowing in misery if He hadn't done that for me.
Yes, I still go through trials and temptations. Breaking news: we all do. The key is to continually give up the control, trusting not in your own strength to win the fight but to allow the Lord to swiftly move in and conquer. The Holy Spirit dwells in us for a reason. When we have nothing left, no strength, no willpower, and we just wanna give up the fight and give in to what may pleasure us for a little while, remember what it was like before you had Christ.
Last Saturday at Worship Generation we went over John 8 in which Jesus makes the famous statement of Him being the Light of the World (8:12). At the time I really didn't feel like the message was directed towards me and I didn't feel inspired by it. But I knew that the Word of the Lord would impact me soon (I'm not the only one who thinks this, right?).
My life when I was a "Christian" and yet practicing my sin was held in darkness. I want my life to be led in the Light from now on. Just because I'm in the Light doesn't mean I won't struggle or have low points, but it does mean that I'm following after the Lord.
There's a verse in a Third Day song that says, "I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God". To those who are at a low point in their lives or are struggling with insecurities, or maybe are even at a crossroads and you don't know exactly where you need to go, know that no matter what stay in the Light and your path will be blessed. It may be hard, confusing, and frustrating, but as long as you are dutifully giving up your will for God's, seeking Him in every situation, and letting the Lord be your strength, there's no way you can fail.
If you are in Christ, then BE in Christ. Stop messing around, dipping your feet into different waters when God tells you to stay inside the boat. You're only hurting yourself more and more if you keep acting in ways that you KNOW are wrong. Trust me, the pain of conviction is not worth it.